Disclaimer: The interview below portrays a political extremist’s views on The Affordable Health Care Act and in no way does it represent the writers’ personal political views. This is a purely satirical work.

Delaney: What are your thoughts on ObamaCare?

Xiao: I hate it.

Delaney: What do you dislike about the legislation?

Xiao: To borrow the wisdom of Indiana Representative Todd Rokita, “it is the most insidious law ever created.”

Delaney: Are you applying that universal health care is worst then Jim Crow’s Laws, slavery, and denying women suffrage?

Xiao: That’s what I’m saying, because gender inequality, enslaving individuals, and racism do not force this nation to endure the wrath that is Obamacare.

Delaney:  Do you believe people should be denied of healthcare coverage if they have a preexisting condition?

Xiao: No, I believe people should not be denied of healthcare coverage even if they do have a preexisting condition.  That is why I fully support the Affordable Health Care Act.

Delaney: Sir, do you realize that Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act are the same thing?

Xiao: You are lying to me just as President Obama lied about Obamacare.

Delaney: I agree it was wrong of President Obama to lie, but many presidents lied for the greater cause. As Machiavelli once wrote, “the ends justify the means.” For the sake of argument, former president Bush lied about torturing detained prisoners, but it was for a greater good to gain intelligence on possible terrorism. What is the difference between president Obama lying versus former president Bush’s lies?

Xiao: That is very simple. President Bush’s lies are “white lies.”

Delaney: We digress. What was your initial reaction of the government shutdown over the Affordable Health Care Act?

Xiao: My initial reaction was, “Do I have to pay taxes?” I don’t think I should have to pay for services that I’m not receiving since the government shutdown.

Delaney:  Of course you are still required to pay taxes. Only non-essential personnel are furloughed, and things such as national parks are closed, but the essential personnel still go to work – like Congress.

Xiao: Oh, well, President Obama shut the government down, and he should be the only one held responsible.

Delaney: That is incorrect. Senator Ted Cruz and the Tea Party caucus were actually responsible for the shutdown. In fact, there are claims that Senator Cruz used the government shutdown as a fundraiser for a 2016 presidential campaign.

Xiao: Well, Democrats are the ones that passed the most insidious legislation this nation has ever seen.

Delaney: You do realize that the Supreme Court upheld the legislation.

Xiao: What does a bunch of “Starbucks Socialists” know about the Constitution? They want to turn this great nation into a socialist state.

Delaney: Once again I must inform you that this is one of the most conservative Supreme courts we’ve ever had. Even though many of the Supreme Court justices are conservative, by a count of 5-4 the Supreme Court upheld the Affordable Health Care Act as constitutional.

Xiao: That’s why I fully Support the Affordable Health Care Act, and not Obamacare.

Delaney: I have nothing further to add. Thank you for your time.