I’ve been struggling with poor self esteem and confidence. Everyone at home tells me how I actually AM pretty, and I DO have good grades, and people DO like me, but I can’t bring myself to believe any of it. I’m pretty reserved and people don’t notice me very often. I only really get recognition as “smart girl” in class, when people need help. I thoroughly do not think that I am pretty or actually smart, and I don’t have many friends because I can’t figure out how to talk to people. Are there any tips on how to break down my own walls and learn to love myself?
— Lacking Confidence
Dear Lacking Confidence,
I completely feel you. As someone who has struggled with confidence in the past, I totally understand where you’re coming from. Something that helped me was journaling my thoughts and feelings. You can use any notebook, and every day, write down things that make you beautiful. Write down what you’re good at.
Begin to take control of your negative thoughts, and replace them with positive ones. If you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself, or feeling nervous about anything, pause, go into a power pose and think of all the things that make you amazing and unique.
Also, don’t be afraid to have conversations with people. Find middle ground; maybe start with someone you sit next to in class. Find something you have in common. Obviously, people find you smart if they are asking you for help. I’m sure people find you pretty and cool too. I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way.
As I said before, journal. Write down everything. If you aren’t a huge writer, text yourself. I’ve done that more times than I can count; little confidence boosters and quotes that I’ve found inspiring, even the little beautiful things about myself that I’ve had to remind myself about. Go out and try new things, try going out of your comfort zone.
At the end of the day, don’t worry about what others think: worry about what makes you happy. If you put yourself in the mindset, you’ll eventually become way more confident in yourself and the things you do. Long story short, fake it ‘til you make it. Do you, and don’t worry about what anybody says or thinks or does. Do what you want and don’t let anybody get in your way.
Confidence Journal: https://youtu.be/kS6MD5j7A-4
What it Means to be Pretty: https://youtu.be/jKTZAsDVkzs